Profiel van 晨脚踩大地，仰望星空Foto'sWeblogLijstenMeer  |  Extra Help |
脚踩大地，仰望星空 |
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吾生何幸，得此良友
在读书，在看电影
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25 november I knew Charmaine, I am here. We are here.
(This is the final part about the topic of Monkey King. finished at 10.26)
More than twelve years have passed since then. Those strong emotions I had during my youth are only a distant memeory now. In spite of the similar circumstances between now and then, I could no longer feel the same as I did before. As the saying goes, you can never return to the "unknown" once you know.
Although I still dream of becoming a Xia, I am no longer shocked as deeply as the time when I first read the martial arts novels by Jin Yong. I used to stay up the whole night finishing the .....love story of Yang Guo and Xiao Longnv. I cried at the tragic ending of Xiao Feng killing his lover A Zhu, and breaking their promise about living in Saiwai with cows and lambs. I also kept day-dreaming for a long time in the hope of chancing upon a book with all the secret Kung Fu recipes, and that I would become the most powerful Xia in the world, and that one day I would stand at the peak of Hua Mountain to challenge other Xia, although I knew perfectly well that there is no such a place for a woman.
Until now, I would still become excited when I hear things about magic. My eyes would still glow when my friends talk about extraterrestrial lives, unknown galaxies, or the supernatural world. But such a passion is more of a revival of my childhood infatuation rather than a constantly present interest. I know I have permanently lost that kind of sensitivity and child-like heart since I already KNEW.
But there is another possibility, that the one which shines to the extreme would return to peace, and the wisest would return to innocence. After experiencing all the bitterness and bliss of life, I may understand life in a new dimension and thus achieve another kind of simplicity.
Many thanks to Z~: ) 24 oktober The monkey kingOn this Thursday's Shiji class, our topic suddenly strangely turned to Dahua Xiyou, or The Chinese Odyssey in Stephen Zhou’s original translation. Professor said she had tried several times and never completed this movie, and she could not endure to watch even than five minutes of it. That gave me a chance to introduce “the history” about how this movie had became popular due to PKU and THU students in 1995, and it had been our graduate movie since then. Then we discussed about whether it is just a secular, anti-society, anti-tradition movie or as I supported, a movie rich in meaning.
That class drew my thoughts far back to PKU, in the last summer, the season of our graduation. Seven of my best friends including me bought the tickets together and watched this movie covering almost half of that row of seats in the right section of our cinema. I had seen at least three times before that and it was almost nothing new. But it became a ceremony, to memorize our way of the four years of prime time in PKU. Why do we choose this movie, or why did PKU choose it?
Is it because of the classical lines? The “classic” is defined by our frequent quotation, and performing everywhere. Or is it due to that song Only You? I still remembered how we sang it together and screamed with laughter in the toughest period in junior high school before Zhongkao. It is just a simple and somewhat stupid song from present perspective. Luo Jiaying’s performance, his eyes and his tedious, repeated lines, in fierce contrast to the seriousness of Zhizun Bao, made it extremely ridiculous.
OMG, I don’t know why I began to do text-analysis of the movie. Time is up, continue today for the next part about why I like the monkey king.
10.24
10.25
What I really wanted to write about is the mentality of reading. It changes greatly as one grows up. "Mentality" might not be an accurate word. I use it to refer to a series of mind activities, such as feeling, sympathy or correlation happening internally when I read certain texts.
The first time I watched the Chinese Oddysey, I was puzzled by the complicated timeline, previous life and after life, 500 years ago and after. I never figured out the triangle relationship between Zhizun Bao, Bai Jingjing and Zixia. But I feel there was something deep behind the riduculous and even stupic lines of those roles. Such unexplicable subtlety made it attractive to me. Even until today, I still clearly remember how I pondered for days about what Bai Jingjing discovered in Zhizun Bao's heart, and why it was a drop of Zixia's tear.
06 oktober Tuesday, one of those daysTuesday is alsways my busiest day among the week. I have three courses today. The interesting thing is that the poem I wrote for a Southern Song Civil Service Examination was put into discussion in class today. Professor and my class mates acted as the examiner to evaluate my poem. I know it is poorly written but it is still a complete poem. The discussion ends up into whether it is an appropriate way or possible to test the characteristics of the candidates through his poem; whether poem is a way to know a more "genuine" aspect of a person.
Then in the Shiji class we discussed about Kongzi Shijia, a chapter I have read before in my sephomor year. It is just during such reading that my former efforts in slowly reading and reciting the Analycts become really valuable: I can easily recognize those quotes Sima Qian put into his writing. Thus it gives me such a strong feeling that he has made a wonderful stories with those dialogues out of the Analycts, putting them into delicate timeline and concrete circumstances. The problem is that it is still impossible to tell the origins of many of those sentences in the Analycts.
I am imaging: Sima Guan was sitting in front of his desk, with those beautiful words from the Analycts, those fantastic stories from Xunzi, Mengzi and those interesting arguement in various documents about Confucius, and then he gradually came to form a picture, a long scroll of the whole life of Confucius, with all the vivid events he had experienced, all the harsh he had met during his search for an ideal king, all the affection he had for his deciples and the profound sorrow of his prediction of his own death, when his Way has not been practised and had no way to pass down. Sima Qian must have been deeply indulged into his imagination, and deeply moved during his narration. That gives birth to this contraditory chapter about Confucious silently lying on my desk now. 04 oktober the mid-autumn festivalI put myself in an exile to my motherland at the other side of the huge Pacific Ociean. My body is still tied to the daily routines of Harvard, whereas my heart has long been flying in the air of PKU.
(A huge squirrel runs across the grass outside my window. His tail is so soft and beautiful with a color of delicate grey.)
I guess when we are looking at the moon, something magical happens, connecting our feeling in a symphony with people in different places and time. 江畔何人初见月，江月何年初照人。This moon is the same one as that under which Taibai and Dongpo toasted to and danced with; the same to which Qu Yuan ever questioned; also the same for which Zhang Ruoxu wrote down this couplets. It is the moon, so mysteriously that attracts Chang'e to cheat her husband, steal the magic poison and fly to the sky, lonely. Although the little rabbit is in her embrace, I still consider this departure totally lonely. In this sense, Chang'e may be the first woman that gives up family and husband to seek her own dream.
Maybe, it is such desire to look up, to seek something above the earth that transcends the spece between me and Chang'e, that makes me stop under the moon light. 03 oktober Fung ScholarI went to the Fung Scholar dinner on Wednesday. It is Fung Fellowship that makes my being here possible. I really wanted to know the officials of this foundation.
After changing several suits before the dinner, I finally chose the offical-style suit and rode my bike so quickly to catch up with the time. It must have been odd to see a person in the formal suit while crazily riding the bicycle across the street.
It is really quite a surprise when I got to know Victor Fung also set up the Ling & Fung Company in Hongkong, because that company supported my exchange program to HKU in 2007. It seems to me that there is a magical line behind the stage of my life threading together all the things and people around me. I also met a senior student from the same high school as me in this dinner. He said he hadn't seen people from Yunnan for years.
I believe more in kind of predetermined destiny. 29 september Unexpected call from xin jiejie When I was walking back from Dudley house, passing my favorite yard in front of the law school library, I got her call. I did not realize how long we talked because I seemed to loose the sense of time these days. But after that, I feel a bit released. The power of my sisters suddenly embraces me through Xin's call. The moonlight shadow accompanies me all the way bakc to my dorm and I am sure I will be better.
Am I right? Who is wrong? Am I responsible for it? I kept judging myself and worring about being judged by imaginary "others".
At least I have you at my side. I know you are here. Magically, every special moment I would get the "call", iin various ways, from you. That guards me all the way until today.
I am still writing in stream of consciousness. But I will definitely be better.
Thank you xiaoxin, Sara, ming, yuan, the friend with Japanese name, and all my sisters at the other side of the Pacific. I have changed my background, and my mood.
Keep writing! 28 september First month in Harvard One of my good friends tells me that my written English needs a lot of work. There is mistake in every sentence in the email I wrote to him. So maybe, I will try to write my blog in English. It will be boring and meaningless, just for practice. I guess I won't begin to write something until I stay by computer long enough. Although I hate the computer, I can not manage my work without it. There is a saying that when a person is asked to write anything coming up in his mind, after twenty sentences, he will show his sub-consciousness. I changed the background of my space to black because my mood is really blue these days. I only tell the reason to two sister-friends and only one of them might have chance to read this now. At a time when all my friends and families are sleeping at the other side of the Pacific, I feel so lonely. |
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